Saturday, May 13, 2006

12:37 PM

Kari had no idea who was in charge of her life anymore.

Strange girl. Odd. Anorexic. That’s what they called her. Kari wasn’t a very pretty girl. She was pale, with equally pale lips and her long brown hair ran past her shoulders in untidy waves. The only nice feature was her dark eyes, expressive and framed with long, thick eyelashes. She often wondered if she would die beautiful… a girl adorned in a white dress, lying in a pool of blood.

Such thoughts are no stranger to her. It all began when her mother got interested in a new man two years back. She certainly got over her late husband really quickly. Kari wasn’t excited at the prospect of having to call a stranger, “Father.” And when he was officially part of the family, Kari addressed him as “Mr. Chua.” or “Sir” if she was in a pleasant mood. Kari knew her mother had given up on her daughter. Her stepfather never seemed to be bothered about her either. There existed a mutual understanding between them that none wanted to have anything to do with the other.

She saw a couple of family having some quality time with one another. Sighing wistfully, she knew those children took their parents for granted. If only they could see her life, an uncaring mother, an unfamiliar stepfather and a dead father who left way too early.

Usually, teenagers in such a position would have a wide circle of friends but not Kari who wasn’t the very sociable sort. Her only friends were James and Alice. Alice migrated to Australia a month ago so James was left. But James wasn’t even in the same school as she was. In public, he was her protector and guardian but in school, she was all alone. Alone and vulnerable against the wave of merciless taunts she faced.

But, that one joy was snatched from her.

James has a girlfriend and was enjoying his social life. Yes, he still called her whenever he had some time which was rare. Kari knew she was being selfish. She had no right to cling on to James. In fact, she had the feeling he wanted to escape from her. Who wouldn’t? She was dreary, negative and silent.

Kari stood up and faced the railing. She looked at her watch. Five minutes to twelve.

Her mother and stepfather are working. Her classmates and teachers probably don’t realize she was missing. James was somewhere with his girl. No one knew where she was… which was good. That means no distractions.

It was near noon but Kari was protected from the glares of the afternoon sun through a whole lot of sunscreen. Kari stared at her pale arms. Everyone thought she applied sunscreen to keep herself pale but it had a dual purpose. It was like her second skin… it not only shielded her from the sun but also from the cruel reality of life.

Four minutes…

Alice… Why did you have to leave? I miss your jokes, the way you handled difficult situations, the way you motivated me to stand up for myself. To be confident and to love myself, to love Kari. I know it seemed like your method wasn’t working but it is… at least, until you left… Alice, you are the epitome of beauty, in every sense of the word. But it’s over… over for me.

Three minutes…

Dad… you left me far too early. You probably think I don’t know this but I do. I know you and Mum weren’t in the happiest of marriages and I respect that you’ve tried to hide all that bitterness under smiles and lots of love. But I wish you would tell me, even though I was just 13. Mum is happy though, a new man popped out of nowhere a month after your death. That man might be my stepfather but he won’t ever be you.

Two minutes…

James…. You’ve been such a good friend to me. Like Alice, you tell the greatest jokes and made me believe in myself but unlike her, you are my guardian and protector. You shielded me from those people! No words could express my eternal gratitude. You have another girl to protect now. But… I don’t know my heart… Do I see you as a friend or something more?

One minute…

Kari, I’ve let you down. I’m sorry for not loving you the way you are. I kept comparing you with others. Their curvaceous bodies, their intelligent minds, their sharp wit. Their families, the amount of wealth they hold… to put it simply: everything. I love you but I’m selfish and ungrateful… I want more. Therefore I shall end this madness.

Kari blinked and rubbed the tears from her eyes. There was no meaning in her life, nothing worth living for. She swung a leg over the railing and pulled herself up. She stared out at the open and smiled. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing and the birds were singing.

It was a beautiful day to die.

“Good bye.”
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This is just a meaningless short story. It needs more polishing. My words aren't eloquent enough. I was in a writing mood, one I haven't felt in years. Who knows... maybe my passion for writing burns brightly once again. =DD Comment and critcise all you want.

Hmm, however Wanda and I are gonna do a photo based on this story... Look out for that. =DD

Peace out, people.

_Pull the knife from my back' ;